Right In Front Of You
by EpicallyObsessed
Summary: Logan Mitchell has been fighting his feelings for his friend and roommate Kendall Knight for two years. When an opportunity presents itself, he makes his move, only to be faced with the very real fear that what he sees in Kendall may be more than their friendship can handle. Will Kendall be able to see what's right in front of him? Or will their friendship crumble? (Contains Slash)
1. Chapter One

**A/N: Hello everyone! I know it's pretty soon to be starting another story, but two of my stories are coming to end very soon and I've had this idea for a while now so I figured now was a good chance to get the ground running on my newest story!**

**This story was inspired by a book I read a few months ago. It has some one-sided Kames, but it'll mainly be focused on Kogan, meaning this will be my first Kogan story!**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

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**Chapter 1**

"You're getting better at this." I breathed out as we took a little break.

"Yeah… I guess all that practicing is finally starting to pay off." Logan responded, trying to catch his breath.

We had decided to have a little friendly hockey match to kill some time since neither of us really had anything to do. We also decided that it would be best to start back practicing since neither of us have really played in a while.

"But not enough to beat me. I wasn't even giving one hundred percent." I responded in a teasing tone to show that I was just messing with him since in all honesty, he had definitely improved. He wasn't quite at my level yet, but he was getting good enough to give me a little challenge.

"I noticed. What were you thinking about anyway? You seemed pretty distracted." He said.

Coincidently, as soon as the question left his lips, my distraction chose that exact moment to show up.

"Hey Jay!" I said, not able to fight the smile that tugged at my lips at the sight of the brunet.

"Hey." He said as he headed inside to the living room, with Logan and I following. "I grabbed lunch. You guys hungry?" He asked, lifting the two large pizzas in his hand.

I nodded, not taking my eyes off of him as sat the pizzas down on the table. With just over six feet of solid muscle and a smile that put the sun to shame, it wasn't difficult for anyone to figure out why James could be an occasional distraction. Whenever he walked into a room, I sometimes had trouble remembering my own name. But it didn't matter how many pointed looks I gave or the not-so-subtle flirting I did, I couldn't change the fact that James was straight. Despite that little fact, it didn't stop me from wishing for a sudden change of heart.

"Always." Logan said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Awesome." James said, giving us a bright smile. "Do you know if Carlos is home? I was thinking the four of us could go for a round of hockey."

"He's not." Logan said, getting ready to continue when I quickly jumped in.

"But we can still do that." I said, ignoring the look Logan was giving me.

"Sounds good. One on one with a referee?" James asked.

"Two against one sounds better." Logan suggested, his expression turning seductive as he eyed James, which I couldn't help but inwardly chuckle at. It was always fun to mess with the brunet.

I watched as James blushed before backing away a step, pizza help up in front of him like a shield.

"I don't think two against one would fair." He said.

"I think you're big enough to handle the both of us." I said. "I'd certainly be willing to give it a shot."

"We promise it won't hurt." Logan chimed in.

"Speak for yourself." I said, seductively licking my lips.

James opened his mouth to speak before shutting it quickly and shaking his head. "You're impossible." He said before heading into the kitchen, taking the pizza with him.

I smiled as I stood up, following him into the kitchen. As I approached, James closed the refrigerator door with his foot, bottles of water in each hand.

"You really don't have to take us both on. I'll be happy to play with you alone." I said.

"I'm sure you would." He muttered, placing the bottles of water on the table. "I don't think Lucy would appreciate the competition though."

"Who said she has to know? I bet there's a lot of things you don't tell her." I said, walking across the kitchen until I was close enough to reach out and trace the slight line of stubble on his jaw. "You know I can keep a secret." I added with my voice low. "I can do a lot of things you'd like."

I stared at him for a long moment, watching as he stared right back at me. After a few seconds, he leaned down next to my ear.

"Not even close. Good try though." He whispered, a smirk tugging at his lips as he turned to grab paper plates from the cabinet.

"You can't blame him for trying." Logan said from the doorway. "You're not exactly beating him off."

"Ooh, that sounds like a plan." I said.

James rolled his eyes as he placed the plates on the island in the center of the kitchen and pulled out a stool to sit on.

"Stop." He said to me before turning to Logan. "You guys are my friends. I don't care if you get a kick out of saying whatever you want when no one else can hear-"

"He like the attention as is too afraid to admit he's turned on." I said to Logan, cutting James off in the process. I watched as Logan rolled his eyes before nodding and grabbing a plate.

"But," James spoke up, returning our attention to him. "You both know you don't have the smallest chance with me."

"You don't have to say anything in front of Loges," I began. "I know I'm wearing you down."

"Of course you are." James muttered, a small smile tugging at his lips as Logan took a seat on one of the stools before opening up a box of pizza.

"James, it's alright. If Ken wants his delusions for comfort at night, he can have them. I'll be here when you're ready." Logan said with a teasing smile.

"If you're both so hard up for someone, why don't you just skip the middle man and date each other? I think you'd be good together." James said as he handed us bottles of water before reaching for the other pizza box.

"Just because we're both gay doesn't mean we're automatically attracted to each other." I said while grabbing a slice of pizza from the box in front of Logan.

"I didn't say you were." James said. "You just-"

"Plus, Kendall can't handle a man like me." Logan said as he took a bite of pizza, cutting James off. "He gets off on going after men who he knows he can't or shouldn't have."

"Is that your professional opinion?" I asked as I frowned, eyebrows drawing together.

"Did he ever tell you," He continued, ignoring my question as he spoke to James. "the last guy he was with had a girlfriend?"

I couldn't help but groan slightly at that. It wasn't that I purposely went after men I shouldn't be with, it just happened that I always found myself attracted to men I knew wouldn't want more than I was willing to give, a commitment.

With James, it was different. He was good friend, and has been since before I came out to him that night in 8th grade. The idea of being with him had always felt as natural as breathing. We'd been joined at the hip since we were ten, and it was partly due to my attraction to James that I learned to recognize and accept my sexuality.

As for James' suggestion to try Logan instead, that was laughable. Where James and I were loud and outgoing, Logan was quiet and reserved, preferring to stick his nose in a book than go out dancing on a Friday night. It was a wonder James and I had managed to convince him to join the hockey team. The weekly practices and games were the only time Logan seemed to come out of his shell, apart from the times where he helped me mess with James.

"I thought you said Dak was going through something." James said to me, breaking me out of my thoughts in the process. "I didn't think you meant he was looking to play around. Or was he?"

"It wasn't like that." I said, memories flooding back at the mention of my former fling. "I didn't go after him, or try to seduce him. He came on to me and I just kind of conveniently didn't say no." I shrugged.

"We both knew the thing was going to be temporary anyway, so that isn't relevant." I added, before looking up from my food and smiling. "The point is, you've always been the center of my attention and you know it. And if we're being honest, a healthy bi-curiosity is the reason we shared our first kiss. You just need to take the next step."

I grinned as both James and Logan choked on their food at the same time. James went to grab for his water bottle, taking several long gulps before lowering it to stare at me, his hazel eyes wide as saucers.

"Is that true or did you just make that up?" Logan asked me as he looked back and forth between James and I.

"I wouldn't lie about that." I said, never taking my eyes off James. "You know what it meant to me." I said to him.

"You knew for sure that night." James said, nodding as he stared right back at me. Moments later, he looked away. "And as much as I care about you, I knew for sure that I-we would never be that way." He added before looking back at me, a small smile forming on his face. "Don't let the memory of that little experiment keep you from going after what's right in front of you."

I nodded at his words as I picked up the slice of pizza that I had barely touched since we'd sat down.

"Oh, don't worry about that. I've got my eye on the prize. It's just a matter of getting it to come to me."

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**Done! Like I said, I've had this idea for a little while now, and I figured that since I wanted to branch out and write other pairings, this was a good place to start.**

**This story will be a little different and a little more mature than my usual stories and the guys are a little more OC in this story, but I'm excited to see how my first Kogan story turns out!**

**I'd really love to hear your thoughts on the first chapter! I'd also like to hear if you think I should continue with this or not :)**

**Since this chapter was in Kendall's POV, next chapter will be in Logan's to see how he feels about everything! It should be up by this weekend.**

**Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	2. Chapter Two

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I'm back with a new update! I'd like to give a huge thank you to Breanna Dominque and winterschild11 for reviewing the first chapter!**

**Like I said, I'm kinda nervous about this story since I've never really done anything like this before, but I know I've gotta step out of my comfort zone. I'd also love some feedback so that I can improve my writing**

**I hope you all enjoy the new chapter!**

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**Chapter Two**

Pulling the front door closed behind me, I jogged down the front steps and fell into step behind James and Kendall. I was close enough to catch snippets of their conversation, but far enough away that they were sure to leave me to my thoughts. Thoughts which, given the strange lunch conversation yesterday, were filled with insults tossed my way by my own roommate.

Okay, so maybe he didn't come right out and insult me, but the face Kendall made when James had said that we might be good together wasn't exactly flattering. Kendall's reaction had been nothing like mine had when James made the suggestion. It wasn't as if we didn't have things in common.

Besides working pretty well together on the hockey team, Kendall had a way of appealing to my sense of humor that often had me laughing at the smallest joke. And I just got Kendall, reading him as well as any book when he thought he was being clever or hiding what he didn't want others to see. He had a soft heart with a great body and a way of bringing a smile to my face just by teasing me or trying to bring me into the action.

Being his friend was sometimes like being caught up in a whirlwind, one that usually left me feeling flustered and winded. Of course, that could be put down to the feelings that I'd rather not mention. The sad fact was, Kendall acted like anything more intimate than beating me at hockey three times a week would be a punishment.

Would it? Kendall could be pushy and loud and aggravating- all the frustrating things that sometimes made him a less than ideal roommate. And there were definite drawbacks to beginning an intimate relationship with a roommate, especially with another person in the house. Lack of privacy, a shift in expectations for intimacy, not to mention what would happen if it all fell apart. Not that any of this mattered. The entire possibility was rendered moot because Kendall couldn't see it happening.

_This is wrong.' _I thought to myself. _'Allowing myself to feel this way again just because Kendall doesn't want me.' _ I guess this was a case of reverse psychology. I thought I'd gotten over my crush a while ago, but as soon as Kendall implied that he wasn't interested, those old feelings of inadequacy made me want to prove to him that I was worth wanting. Which was childish. Silly. Not worth either of our time to prove something Kendall didn't care to know and I knew wouldn't change anything. But it was the principle of it.

Although, now that I thought about it, proving the point could only get me in trouble that I didn't need.

The problem now was, the idea had been planted. Nothing I'd said or done before had gotten the blonde to notice me that way, but that didn't mean it couldn't be done. After all, I hadn't tried the direct approach. That could end well, or… it could end with me questioning how I'd developed anything as hopeless as a crush on someone who'd put me firmly in the platonic friend category.

As much as I knew that it was a bad idea, I was sure that a large part of me had accepted the challenge. I only hoped that the sane part of me could intervene before I did something I can't take back.

I was brought out of my thoughts as James glanced over his shoulder before turning to face me and walking towards me, leaving Kendall behind as he shifted his gym bag on his shoulder.

"It's okay if you actually wanna walk with us to practice, you know." He said with a small smile.

I smiled a little before starting to walk towards Kendall to close the distance, James following by my side.

"I figured Ken needed some private time with you so he can seal the deal."

"Uh, no." James said, grabbing me by the elbow before gently shoving me towards Kendall. "I think this is a good time for you two to get to know each other."

"You can't be serious." Kendall said. "We've been sharing a house for two years. We know each other well enough."

"I meant something a little deeper. Logan only knows that you leave your stinky socks in the bathroom all the time and you know he likes to cook spicy garlic chicken at two in the morning." James said in a teasing manner.

"Hey, only when I'm studying." I said defensively.

"And when you want the house to smell like Chinese food for two days." Kendall muttered.

"I opened the window and turned the fan on last time I cooked." I said with a shrug, not missing the way Kendall rolled his eyes.

"Which just made Carlos invite himself over to eat. Speaking of which," He said, looking around before scanning the sidewalk behind us. "where is he anyway? Is he going to be late for practice again?"

Again, as if the one time Carlos had been late for practice had been a world tragedy. Of course, to Kendall, anything that affected practice was a big deal. But even before Carlos had joined the hockey team, I had noticed Kendall hadn't really taking to our attractive neighbor.

I guess something about having another hot guy around triggered his territorial instincts. Carlos usually happened to pop up at most of our favorite hangouts, and received more than his fair share of male _and _female attention, not that he really noticed. Anyway, the only way for Kendall to assert his dominance was to order Carlos around at practice, often chastising him more than the other players.

Of course, Carlos took no notice of this. I doubt anyone else noticed the rather subtle attempt at an ongoing rivalry on Kendall's part, but I noticed everything. If there was one thing my years of studying clinical psychology had taught me, it was that no detail was unimportant. And if the tone of the blonde's voice when he mentioned Carlos was any indication, not was the perfect time to defend him, or else we'll all be skating extra laps just to make up for Carlos daring to act outside of their coach's strict timetable.

"He might be late." I said, remembering that Carlos said that he had a few things to take care of before practice. But thankfully, he only would only be a few minutes away from the rink. "He has a few errands to run for his dad before practice. But he'll be a few minutes away from the rink so he shouldn't be too late."

"Good." Kendall said. "I want to go over a few things with him before the next game."

I didn't miss the bright smile he gave me, making my heart skip a beat in the process.

"I looked through your playbook. I still believe a good hockey play is about acting on instinct, but I think we can implement a few of your ideas into our next game. We'll even try some of them out today." He said, making me give him a bright smile of my own.

That was pretty high praise coming from our picky coach. It was a wonder he'd gone through my play book at all. Kendall's idea of a strategy was often to yell at someone to go left and further out in the middle of a game, but the casual coaching style worked for the most part. Players felt safe to react in the moment and the other teams found our unpredictable style difficult to counter most of the time. It didn't hurt that pretty much everyone was fast on the ice and a few of our larger players were a little rougher than most.

"Instinct is fine, but sometimes you have to have a good game plan." I said casually.

"Yeah, speaking of plans, you know what he's doing right?" Kendall asked as he motioned ahead of us. James had taken off down the sidewalk, a figure in the distance that grew smaller by the second. "He's serious about this crazy plan of his."

'_It's not that crazy.' _I thought to myself.

"I don't know what you're worried about. He can't set us up if we don't want to be." I said.

"I'm not worried." He countered. "I just don't like that he's trying to push us together. It'll be awkward."

"It won't be awkward. We just ignore him. Though you're not so good at that, are you? Every time he brings Lucy home you freak out." I pointed out.

"His bedroom is next to mine."

"By your own choice."

"So you're saying you don't like me coming into your room in the middle of the night to escape the noise?" He asked with a teasing grin.

"I'm saying that when he gets up in the morning and sees you coming out of my bedroom, he probably gets ideas about what kind of roommates we are." I said. "You do have a lot of friends with benefits."

"Used to." He corrected. "I don't do that anymore."

"Got tired of it?"

"Everyone's getting into relationships. Hard to play without a playmate. And to tell you the truth, I don't hate the idea of being in something long-term myself." He said with a shrug.

"So why don't you? It won't be hard for you to find someone."

"Good to know you think I'm hot." He grinned, making me start to blush when I realized my mistake.

It was at that moment that I grateful that he couldn't read me as well as James could. That little quip about how good Kendall and I would be together hadn't come out of nowhere, and I blushed so much that I was sure the blonde would notice. But as it was, Kendall felt nothing more than platonic friendship. And apparently, annoyance with my cooking habits.

"I think you have your own gruff charm. You know, for an attention whore with boundary issues."

Though I'd said it with a casual, joking air, I had come off a lot harsher than I'd intended. And I regretted the words as soon as they were out.

"What?" Kendall asked, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk for a few seconds before taking several steps to catch up with me. "Is that your official diagnosis? What brought that on?"

"Nothing." I said before letting out a sigh as we reached the rink. "Just that I can see why you don't want to be set up with someone, especially me."

"What do you mean?"

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" I asked hesitantly as we walked inside, continuing when Kendall nodded his head. "Think about it. I wasn't kidding yesterday when I said you want what you can't have. You are charming, to a lot of people. You have no problem going out and meeting guys, talking to them, buying them drinks, whatever gets them interested in you. If you don't want to be alone in bed, you don't have to be. And you say you don't hate the idea of being in a relationship, but the person you want is someone you know you'll never have." I said, feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders as I said what I've been wanting to say to the blonde for a while now.

We stood there in silence for a few seconds before he finally spoke up again.

"Do you… do you like James too?" He asked hesitantly.

"Yes, I'm attracted to him. He's hot, he's a good friend and a great guy. But I have no illusions of where that's going. I guess it's different because you've known each other since you were kids, and you've kissed once, but it's obvious to everyone else who knows him that he'll never want to be with a guy. You've been friends for years, and you've lived alone together for a few months before you got me to move in. If it was going to happen for you, don't you think it would've happened by now?"

"Not if he's not ready."

"Right. If kissing you when you were thirteen and being at your side pretty much every moment since didn't make him ready, what will?" I asked finding that I couldn't bring myself to look him in the eyes during my little speech.

It was difficult enough telling him the harsh truth when the whole situation was really none of my business, friend and housemate or not. I was the last person who wanted to discourage someone from pursuing a dream, even if it was pointless. I supposed that wasn't practical for a future doctor/therapist, but I rarely allowed myself the indulgence of analyzing my friends and advising them the way I would if they were my patients. I wouldn't like it if it was done to me, and I could tell from the stiff set of Kendall's jaw that he wasn't thrilled with what he was hearing. Still, I had to get it all out there. This might just be the last chance I'd get to tell Kendall exactly how James and I saw the situation.

"My point is, you're great at connecting with people when you want to." I continued. "You're the life of the party and there's a lot about you that someone could appreciate, if you gave the right someone a chance. But you constantly surround yourself with people who don't want what you say you want because you're holding out for a fantasy. And James loves you like a brother so he's not going to outright reject you. He would never hurt your feelings that way. But he sees the way you look at him and trying to set you up is his way of saying it's not going to happen."

With that being said, I finally allowed myself to look up at Kendall again. His gaze was on James, the best friend who would never reciprocate his feelings.

"I get that you're not into me, but you should know that when James realizes it's not going to work with us, he'll try and set you up with someone else. He wants you to be happy and he knows he's not the guy to make that happen. At least, not in the way you want him to." I added.

A long silence passed before Kendall asked.

"How do you know that's what he thinks? He's never said anything like that to me."

"James and I talk. That's why he said you should get to know me better. He has and for some reason he thinks we'd be good together."

I hadn't realized it until my speech was over, but James' concern about Kendall had been a frequent topic lately. James was serious about getting Kendall settled down with someone, not only because he cared about the blonde, but also because he didn't want Kendall to be alone when he got more serious about his girlfriend. For all my own unresolved feelings, I wanted him to be happy, and I would give just about anything to be the reason for his happiness.

"He told you all this about me?" Kendall asked as he turned back towards me. I tried to read his expression, but he broke eye contact after a few seconds.

I started to study his profile and frowned. This is what I had been afraid of, that opening my big mouth would possibly cause a rift between us. It was probably unsettling for Kendall to learn that his friends had discussed his private life in that much detail, but the truth of it was, we did it because cared about him. I only hoped the way Kendall was avoiding looking at me didn't men more than shock at my words. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him in some way.

"No, some of it I guessed." I said. "You were right earlier. We do know each other well enough. At least, I know you."

"You're saying I don't know you very well?"

"I'm saying you won't let yourself. You only see me a certain way, which is fine, because we're good as just friends, right?"

With that said, I leaned down, reaching into my bag to pull out my playbook before handing it Kendall.

"Come on, let's start warming up. I'm ready to get things started."

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**Done! I've gotta say, I'm proud of how this chapter turned out! This is also the longest chapter I've ever written!**

**(P.S. Sorry if there's any mistakes! I wrote most of this on my tablet.)**

**So this chapter was kind of a filler, but you all got a look at Logan's character and also what his relationship with Kendall is like. You also got a peek at Kendall and James' history together.**

**I'm still kinda on the fence about continuing this story, but I'll see where it goes from here.**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts! I'd also love to hear if you had a favorite part in the chapter! :)**

**Next chapter, you'll get to see Carlos! There will also be a sweet Kogan moment! I'm hoping to have it up by next weekend!**

**Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	3. Chapter Three

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I know that I said the next chapter probably wouldn't be up until this weekend, but I have a new chapter ready! This is somewhat of a filler, but it also kinda sets up the next few chapters.**

**Before we get to that though, I'd like to give a huge thank you to TheLoganTrain (Guest), loovingthis, winterschild11, and for reviewing last chapter! I'd also like to thank everyone that has read, followed, and added this story to their favorites list so far! Like I said, I'm kinda stepping out of my comfort zone here and trying something a little different so I really appreciate the feedback! :)**

**I hope you all enjoy the new chapter!**

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**Chapter Three**

It wasn't by accident that practice was a little harsher than usual, with me barking out orders at everyone. I guess the exception was Logan, who I was choosing to ignore at the moment. Even when he fell when trying to score. After Carlos managed to hit the puck into the goal for the fourth time in a row, he turned towards me.

"Please tell me that you're ready to call it a day." He said as he took off his helmet, wiping off some sweat with the back of his hand. "I know you want it perfect, but I think we're all about done."

I looked around at the rest of the team. Everyone was either sitting down or leaning over, panting to catch their breath.

"Fine." I sighed, ignoring the pang of guilt I felt in my chest.

After running that last play a fourth time, I wasn't sure if any of them were moving at even half speed anymore. What I did know was that I wasn't getting anything out of running the team ragged other than resentment from them for having to work this hard on a day that the air conditioning had decided to go out. Not even the cold air from the ice was enough to stop anyone from sweating.

Besides, watching them sweat it out wasn't doing anything to beat down the source of my real frustration- the informative little chat I'd had with Logan before practice. I knew I'd asked for it, but that didn't make hearing my shortcomings any easier, especially from someone who was currently undergoing training to help people with their problems. I never wanted to feel like I was under his microscope again. Or worse, feel like Logan felt sorry for me because I'd been carrying a torch for James all these years.

I let out another sigh before clapping my hands together to get everyone's attention.

"All right guys. Good practice. I'm sorry I kept you playing for so long, but with our game coming up at the end of this week, I don't wanna take any chances of a repeat."

A collective groan went up as everyone remembered the horrifying 19 to 4 loss we'd suffered at the hands of our rivals, who'd been down one man last we faced off. The loss had affected our momentum for the three games that followed, causing us to lose the opportunity to compete for the regional cup last season. And I knew none of us wanted to see that happen again.

"We'll do a light practice Saturday morning, the air conditioning should be fixed by then, so… I guess I'll see you all then."

I caught Logan's eye before turning away, heading over to wear I had dropped my bag. I took off my gear before squatting down to grab a dry shirt out of my bag, suddenly noticed a shadow hovering over me.

"Whatever you're going to say, I don't want to hear it. What you said before was enough." I said softly, assuming that it was Logan.

"Something going on?"

Immediately recognizing that voice, I looked up to lock eyes with James.

"Oh, it's you. No, nothing's going on."

"Right, that's why you've been pissy since I left you alone with Loges." He said as his eyebrows lifted in question. "Something happen there?"

"No." I said quickly. A little too quickly. I turned away from James' knowing smile, pulling the shirt from my bag. I started to take off my sweat-stained shirt when I suddenly heard Carlos' voice come from behind me.

"Woo! There's the show everyone pays to see."

I rolled my eyes slightly before turning around to see Carlos coming up fast behind me, Logan close on his heels. Turning away again, I finished taking my shirt off, slipping on a dry one for now before shoving my sweaty one into my gym bag.

"I'll see you later." I said to James before going to leave, hoping to get away before Logan or Carlos could reach me.

I fought a groan as I felt someone grab my wrist. I turned around, coming face to face with Carlos.

"Whoa. Where are you going? I've got to ask you guys something." Carlos said. "What are you guys doing tonight?"

"I've got a date with Lucy tonight." James said.

"Just the usual. Studying. Maybe a movie." Logan shrugged.

I said nothing.

"I'm working on some plays tonight that I think we can use and I could really use everyone's input." Carlos said. "Would you mind coming to my place, say around eleven?"

"That's really late." Logan said.

I watched as Carlos smiled, his dark brown eyes lighting up as he looked at Logan.

"Don't worry. I'll make it worth your while to stay up." He said before turning to me, his smile faltering a bit. Which I guess wasn't really a surprise given the way I've been ordering him around for the past few hours. "How about it coach? A little after dinner hang out time at my place?"

"I think… I have some stuff to do." I said.

Like not be around someone who always managed to get under my skin, no matter what kind of mood I was in. And I definitely didn't want to be apart of his audience. The sad part was, I couldn't even bother to come up with a decent excuse. It probably wasn't the best idea to say that I didn't care to watch Carlos flirt with Logan all night. Carlos flirted with everyone, whether it was just playful, innocent fun or not. But it wasn't until the last couple practices that I noticed Logan responding.

Logan didn't seem quite as reserved when the Latino put his arm around him or teased him about his late night cooking habits. The two had begun spending more and more time together and since James wasn't going to the late night party, then I didn't want to be the third wheel on the pairs date.

"I won't be going over until I'm finished studying. I'm sure you can find a little time to hang out." Logan said to me as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"We'll see." I said before picking up my bag and slinging it over my shoulder. "I'm going to get some lunch. I'll see you guys later." I said before going to leave.

I heard Logan ask me to wait up, but I took off as if I didn't, feeling a slight pang in my chest as I did so.

What did it matter if both Logan and James thought that I could do better than meeting a different guy every weekend if that was what I wanted? It didn't. Not at all. What did matter was that Logan had pegged me as a headcase purposely keeping myself out of potential relationships because I was waiting for James to come around. And even though Logan hadn't been far off the mark, it didn't make what he said any easier to hear.

Besides, it wasn't that I expected James to magically come around one day, it was that I knew how good we could be together if he left himself open to the idea. I needed my best friend in my life. What better way to guarantee that wouldn't change than if we were together, in all ways? It had stopped mattering a long time ago that being with James was an unrealistic dream. What mattered was, in spite of all my faults, I always had James' love and respect. If what Logan said was true, then I had the sinking feeling that the latter might be fading away...

* * *

**Done! As I said, this was kind of a filler, but it's also setting up the next few chapters! Speaking of which, I'm really excited for the next few chapters since we'll have some interesting Kogan and Cargan talks as well as a sweet Kames moment! :)**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter as well as if you had a favorite moment! **

**Next chapter will be up either Friday or Saturday so be sure to keep an eye out for that!**

**Until next time!**

**-EpicallyObsessed**


	4. Chapter Four

**A/N: Hello again everyone! As promised, I'm here with the fourth chapter! Before we get started, I'd like to thank mrs. hutcherlark, TheLoganTrain (Guest), and loovingthis for reviewing last chapter! I loved hearing your thoughts and I'm glad that you all liked the Cargan interaction! There will be a nice Cargan moment and a sweet Kames talk next chapter that I'm really excited about!**

**And I'm sure that you all will be excited with this chapter! I won't give anything away, but I hope you all enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Four**

"So… how was your lunch?" Logan asked as he continued to set up the chess board, not looking up when I sat across from him.

Chess wasn't one of my _favorite_ pass times, but it was something that Logan and I did together. I guess it was kind of our thing.

I let out a sigh dropped my gym bag to the floor before leaning back in my chair.

"It was all right." I answered after a moment. "I think it was a mistake for them to put that McDonalds down the street. I'm going to get fat from all that cheap, crappy food."

"Well cheap fast food tends to be bad for you." Logan said with a shrug. "You know you can shop on a budget and still have decent, filling meals."

"Yeah, but it's so much easier when someone else does the cooking."

It was an old argument between the the two of us. Probably a little tiring for Logan who, if he was not always health conscious, was at least self-sufficient in the kitchen. That was one of the things he and Carlos had in common. Just about every time I saw them together outside of practice, one had cooked something he wanted the other to try. Carlos had dinner at our house more often than James some weeks. That was another reason why I didn't understand James' statement that Logan and I would be good together. It was obvious, perhaps only to me, that Logan had far more in common with Carlos and the interest between them definitely went both ways.

I watched in silence as Logan finished setting up the pieces on his side of the board. I instinctively tensed a bit when he looked at me and then back to the board quickly, focusing on what his first move would be. It was a different pawn every time, but I had learned to read most of his opening moves. A far left or right pawn meant he was going for a longer game, trying to draw out his opponent's most aggressive pieces. A center pawn meant he was going for a quicker game and wanted to give himself an advantage.

Honestly, he always had an advantage, whether he knew it or not. I made it a point of remaining as silent as possible during our encounters because it was easier for him to distract and then beat his opponents if he kept up a steady stream of chatter. But my silent act also served a different purpose. It gave Logan too much time to think, and then overthink, all of his moves and attempt to second guess what I would do next.

His hyperactive brain was his weakness most of the time. This time though, I wished he would stay silent and not try to continue our conversation from earlier. It had been hard enough talking myself out of being upset over what he had shared with me. I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep my remaining bitterness to myself if Logan brought it back up. Maybe it'd be better if we didn't spend any time together at all right now.

"I should jump in the shower. I'm sure I smell pretty bad."

"You're fine." Logan said, briefly glancing up at me again. "You didn't sweat nearly as much as everyone else." He said before pausing, letting that comment hang in the air. "Unless you don't want to play with me." He said before looking up again, this time holding my gaze until I finally looked away.

"No, I've got a little time." I said before swallowing hard. Geez, the air in this room was suffocating. Was the AC out here too?

"So, nothing to do this afternoon?" He asked slowly as he wiggled his fingers over a pawn near the far left. "Nothing earth-shatteringly important?" He looked up again, eyebrows raised.

Was this all about me blowing Carlos off? Of course. Wouldn't want to hurt his feelings, would we?

"No, but I can find something to do if you'd rather not play. I thought I'd rest up before I go out later."

"Ah." He said as he reached for a center pawn and moved it one space. "So you'd rather get wasted with some club rat than hang out with your friend and neighbor for one night?"

At least he had the foresight to refer to Carlos as a neighbor and not one of my friends. I wasn't up for pretending I wanted to be around Carlos any more than Carlos wanted me around. He probably only invited me over to be polite. After all, how would it look if he invited James and Logan, but left me out?

"I think you know the answer to that." I said before picking up one of my pawns and moving it a space.

"I thought I knew some things about you, but I could be wrong. About a lot of things." He added that last comment in a mumble just before grabbing another pawn and shifting it one space.

"Like what?"

I watched as he sighed before looking up from the board.

"I thought you could handle what I had to say without having a hissy fit."

"I didn't have a hissy fit." I said defensively.

No. What I had was frustration that I couldn't change James' mind and, deep down, the knowledge that James' refusal to try for a relationship was the right move. It just sucked that it took another person to point it out to me.

"No, you let your teammates suffer in potentially unsafe conditions without a break because you were too busy mad at James and I to think about what you were doing." He said, quickly following my chess move with one of his own.

"You guys were fine."

"And if someone had passed out or worse, would you have been the one to explain why to the EMT's or their family?"

I looked down to avoid his glare before replying.

"Fine. I should've been paying more attention to the weather. Happy?"

"No." He said as he watched me move another piece. "I want to know what part of this you have a bigger problem with. Call it curiosity on my part."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," He began. "is your issue that James and I have talked about you a few times?"

'_Now it was a few times?' _I thought to myself, frowning in the process.

"Are you bothered because he says he could see us together? Or is there something else?" He asked, his voice becoming more quiet at the last question.

I looked up from the board to see something that I never thought I'd see from him. An expression that, on anyone else, would've been more than curious. It was open, vulnerable. A naked longing that disappeared as soon as I was sure that I knew what it was, only to be replaced by him pressing his lips together and looking back down at the board.

Wow. Okay. That made this conversation a hell of a lot more interesting. Maybe Logan had spent so much time analyzing me because he wanted to know if he had a chance. And I wasn't really sure how I felt about that.

"I'm not in love with the idea that you guys have talked about me." I said. "It's strange."

"I'm sorry our conversation made you feel that way." He said softly. "I honestly wouldn't have said anything if you didn't want to know."

"I know, I asked for it." I responded. "About… us." I said, looking up just in time to see Logan's expression change before the mask slid back into place. "You don't think it's weird?"

I watched as his lips trembled as he fought down a smile.

"I think," He began, reaching across the table. "life is full of possibilities." He continued as he touched the back of my hand, gently stroking the skin. "If this isn't one you want to take advantage of, then you shouldn't feel pressured to do so."

It wasn't my imagination that the temperature in the room had risen. It was one thing when Loges was getting into my head on a purely academic level. It was another thing when he looked at me from beneath thick lashes as if he could unravel me from inside out if given half the chance. Holy hell… the little nerd was trying to seduce me!

"I don't feel pressured. I feel…" Confused. Suprised. A little turned on. More confused. To distract myself from the dirty direction my thoughts were taking, I turned my attention back to the chess board. Somewhere between needling me about taking off and getting all touchy-feely, Logan had started to win the game. We started back playing the game, and it didn't take long for me to have the advantage again. That is, until Logan's leg moved against mine.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Stretching my legs. There's not much room under the table. Maybe we should play on the floor. Or upstiars…" He suggested.

I wasn't exactly sure what he wanted to play, but the look on his face said that it had nothing to do with a chess board. Time for a subject change.

"How come I haven't seen you play with James lately?"

"He's given up trying to challenge me." He said with a shrug. "I guess he realizes that some things are inevitable." He added with another small stroke on the back of my hand.

This time, I swore I felt a corresponding ache in the small of my back and up the inside of my thigh, the sensitive parts of my body that always responded the most when given the right kind of attention. My mind might be reeling at the idea, but my body definitely wasn't opposed to getting to know Logan a little better.

I had to refocus on the game. The chess game. The little figurines on the board in front of me that could've been army action figures for all the concentration I had right now. I reached towards the board, letting my hand hover over the back row of pieces.

"What are you thinking about?" Logan asked.

"Beating you."

"Kinky. Be careful if you decide to try it. I've got sensitive skin." He said, his words making me knock over one of my knights.

I watched as a smirk formed on Logan's face before he picked it up. "I'll consider that an accident, not a concession."

"I should go." I said quickly.

"Oh, to get ready for that hot date you don't have lined up with those friends who are busy with relationships right now?"

"Logan, don't."

"What?" He asked, pulling his hand back across the table. "I want to spend time with you tonight. You'd rather runoff and avoid me. I thought we'd gotten past you being upset about what I told you."

"I don't want to hang out all night with Carlos, okay?" I said, watching as a frown formed on his face.

"Do you really hate him that much? I don't get what you're problem is with him. He's really nice. He's funny. He'll even cook for you so you don't have to eat that deep fried, chemical-filled crap anymore."

"Yeah, he sounds wonderful." I said as I pushed back from the table and grabbed my gym bag. "Enjoy your date with him tonight. You'll have a lot more fun without a third person there."

As I went up the stairs, I noticed that Logan didn't even bother calling me back. Which made me assume that this time, he got the message.

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**Done! Oh Kendall... when will you learn? Lol! I hope you all enjoyed that little Kogan moment, you know, before things went downhill :)  
**

**I'm enjoying writing this story because it's different from my usual writing style. And I'm enjoying it so much that I'm considering doing more stories in this format. And since the unrequited Kames love in this story is killing me, I may just make it Kames! ;)**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter as well as if you had a favorite moment!**

**As I said earlier, next chapter will basically just be Cargan and Kames talks but I'm really excited because there's some closure in a way for Kames. You'll see what I mean next chapter!**

**Anyway, next chapter probably won't be up until next weekend but I hope to be able to read lots of reviews until then! ;)**

**-EpicallyObsessed**


	5. Chapter Five

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I'm back with an early update! Before we get started, I'd like to thank winterschild11, , and loovingthis for reviewing last chapter! :)**

**This chapter is probably my favorite in the story so far so I hope you all enjoy!**

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**Chapter Five**

Tease. There wasn't a clinical term for the way I had acted around Kendall. And there was no mistaking his reaction: body-rocking heat in the form of a promise to return whatever was given to him tenfold. Before I screwed it up anyway. The look Kendall had given me before he closed off had been… pretty inspiring. So much so, I had trouble focusing on anything but fevered images of what it might be like to kiss him, or to have his hot tongue and quick hands all over me, doing his damndest to make me pay for teasing him.

I really needed to do that again…

"Earth to Logan." Carlos said, leaning over the dining room table and snapping his fingers in my face. "Don't tell me you're still worn out from practice."

"No, I took a nap." I responded as I looked around. I must have been really out of it.

In the time I'd been contemplating just how to get Kendall to come around to my way of thinking, Carlos had laid out a plate of éclairs, three plates of cookies and what looked like a Danish dish fresh out of the oven.

As it turned out, Carlos didn't have any plays that he wanted us to look at. He had invited us over to taste test his cooking since he would be auditioning for a job at the local bakery. And since James had a date and Kendall was off sulking somewhere, that left me to give Carlos my opinion.

"I'm not going to be sleeping again anytime soon, am I?"

"I don't know, you seem pretty out of it." Carlos replied. "What's up?"

"Nothing." I said, although it was a lie. A lie so bad that I didn't blame Carlos for his skeptical look. "It's Kendall." I sighed.

"Ooh, I knew it. James told me he was trying to get you guys together. So tell me, is he a good kisser?" Carlos asked as he sat next to me, his eyes sparkling with humor.

"I wouldn't know. He ran out of there so fast, the paint practically peeled from the walls." I said. "All I did was talk to him."

"That's all you did?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

Oh, hell. Was I that obvious?

"I… fine. I may have been a little less subtle than I could've been, but it wouldn't work any other way with him. He thinks you and I have a thing."

We stared at each other for a long moment, the two of us clearly contemplating the possibilities between us. Seconds later, we both burst out laughing as I reached for a cookie.

"Seriously?" He asked. "You're sweet and all, but you're like a brother to me. Want me to tell him that?"

"No, _please _don't talk to him." I said after chewing and swallowing the cookie I'd shoved whole into my mouth. "He'll be upset that I talked to yet another person about him." I continued before reaching for another cookie. "Besides' he doesn't really like you."

"I kinda picked up on that. Good sign though, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"He flat out told you he thinks something's going on between us and he doesn't like me. You don't think those two facts are related? You see the look on his face every time we're together right?"

"You think he's jealous?" I asked, watching as he nodded his head.

"I don't even think he knows it. He's been acting that way around me for so long… man, have the two of you been dancing around each other since I moved in?"

I sat back in my chair, frowning a little. Had Kendall been subconsciously fighting an attraction to me for nearly a year? More? No. There was no way. He's treated me the same way from the day after we'd met after I had responded to James' ad for a roommate. He had been friendly, just this side of teasing, and welcomed me into the house with the same warmth he shared with James. The only difference was that we didn't spend as much time alone together.

"How many times have you looked at him and wondered if he was flirting with you or just being nice? How many times did you want it to be more?"

Carlos' quiet questions broke into my thoughts as I looked up, feeling a little startled. Crap. Had there been more to his jokes and constant teasing?

"It never occurred to me he was being anything other than nice." I responded after a while. "Kendall's always been like that. He's always playing and joking around. Unless he's upset."

Carlos stared at me quietly for a moment before responding.

"And earlier today, was he upset because you and James were talking about him like he's a hopeless case or because it was you, and he thought you thought better of him than that?"

"Stop." I said while shaking my head. "He can't possibly feel that way about me. We're friends, but he doesn't put that much into my opinion. He just doesn't like to be criticized."

"You sure? Because he took what you said before practice to heart." He said before motioning to the plate of éclairs.

I let out a sigh before grabbing one. I took a bite of the flaky pastry and it fell apart in my mouth. Sweet, peach flavored cream oozed onto my tongue. "Oh my god, I think I love you. What did you put in here, orgasm dust?" I asked, getting a chuckle out of the Latino.

"Secret ingredient. And don't change the subject. You have to know you mean a lot to him, more than those guys he goes out drinking with. He may not use you for free therapy services like James and me, but he does listen. You just have to say what he needs to hear, whether he wants to hear it or not."

Licking the cream from my lips and fingers, I refocused on Carlos.

"How can you see all this when I can't?"

"Easy," He said. "I'm not emotionally invested. James was right. You would be good together if Kendall got his head out of his ass and you remembered that you have a backbone." He said before pushing the plate of éclairs closer to me. "Speaking of things that give you boners, what do you think my chances are?"

"I think that if that bakery doesn't give you a job, the owner is an idiot and you should open up shop and put him out of business." I said before sticking out my tongue to lick the cream from the edge of the éclair. Moaning, I closed my eyes and swallowed, Carlos' soft laugh making me open my eyes again.

"All you have to do to get Kendall to come around is eat one of those in front of him. It's like porn."

"Right." I said sarcastically before rolling my eyes.

"Seriously," He began. "I know you don't like to push people. That will make you a great doctor and therapist one day. People will respond to you being caring and understanding but not pushing them before their ready. But if this… whatever between the two of you has been going on as long as I suspect, you have got to make the first move. Clearly he's not going to. Now that his eyes have been opened about that whole situation with James, you have the perfect opportunity. The question is, are you brave enough to take it?"

Brave? Yeah, that was one word for what I would have to be. I might have to borrow a little of Kendall's brash cockiness to prepare myself promised to be one hell of a ride. I just hoped that this ride was worth the rocky start.

.

"You ready to talk about it yet?"

"Nope." I responded as I looked down at my late breakfast. The cereal had gone soggy a while ago, but I couldn't bring myself to throw it away. I had to eat something or I'd be useless during our big game. The team needed me to be in top form, and I had to force myself to get it together. I'd spent the better part of the morning remembering the way Logan had looked at me over the chess board, and my own suprising reaction to the light flirtation.

In the days since, I'd managed to avoid being alone with Logan for more than a couple of minutes, but I knew it would only be a matter of time before it would come up again. I just hadn't expected it to come up with James…

James took a seat next to me before pulling my bowl over to him and reaching for my spoon. I watched as he took a bite.

"You've been avoiding me for almost a week." He said around a mouthful of cereal. "I get it if you're mad. I should've just talked to you instead of going to Loges, but he's easy to talk to about this kind of stuff."

"It's part of his job." I said before frowning, knowing that I would have to grab something else to eat as I watched James devour what was left of my half-eaten cereal.

"Being a good listener is part of what makes him a great friend." James said, not talking until I looked at him again. "I'm sorry about this whole thing. I didn't expect him to tell you what we'd talked about. I should've told you how I feel about it myself."

"You have nothing to be sorry about." I sighed. "You didn't do anything wrong. I was crazy for expecting you to change one day. I know it doesn't happen like that, but I hoped." I said, watching as he lifted one shoulder in a shrug.

"I guess I led you on without meaning to."

"You didn't do anything." I assured him before smiling, although the action was forced. This was definitely harder than I thought it would be. "Whatever fantasies I had about you were my own."

"But that kiss-" He started, only for me to cut him off.

"That kiss happened right after I came out to you. We were so much alike back then, you probably wanted to know if our raging hormones were raging in the same direction." I said before reaching over, putting my hand on top of his.

"I felt so close to you back then, I still do. But it was like a light went on in my head when I thought of being with you that way. I knew I'd never look at girls the all our other friends did, not if I compared what I thought of them to how I thought of you. Still do sometimes." I explained, watching as he nodded.

"Still, I'm sorry if I took whatever closeness you felt and made you think that I felt… more. I've always loved you, and I always will."

"But you'll never fall _in_ love with me." I finished for him.

"No."

"How about in bed?" I asked, making him chuckle.

"Nope."

The sofa's pretty comfortable."

And with James' full out laugh at my last comment, the tightness around my stomach eased. It would be all right. In spite of my stubborn refusal to acknowledge the truth all these years, I wasn't in danger of losing James' friendship. The one constant that I'd had since suprising my family when I'd come out my junior year of high school. Throughout all the ensuing drama, James' support never wavered, not even when he'd had to put up with his mopey best friend living in his house after my parents wanted me out of their way.

When a plane crash took James' parents a few years later, I had returned the support without hesitation. There was never a question that James and I were each other's chosen family, so much so that James' parents had willed their house to the both of us. It was gratifying to know that, no matter how misguided my feelings, there was no chance that James would ever throw me away. He's said it before, when we were kids, but this moment cemented our connection. Or at least in my mind it did. I just hoped that I never had to question the strength of our bond again.

"So, tell me. Are you avoiding Logan for the same reason you were avoiding me?"

Wait, what?" I asked.

I didn't know why I was so surprised. Of course they were still talking about me. I stared at James for a second before turning away from him. I opened the cabinet, searching for the meal replacement bars Logan usually snacked on. Anything to avoid that knowing expression from my best friend that I knew he was giving me.

"You heard me. Are you avoiding him because there might be something there and you don't think you have a chance?"

"That's crazy." I said as I grabbed the last three meals bars out of the box before throwing it away and turning to face James, leaning back against the counter.

"You're right, it is crazy." James smiled as he drank the last of the milk that was left in the cereal bowl. "Because you know you have a chance. Logan's never said anything but he's… let's just say he's been biding his time. The only reason we were talking about you at all is that he was about to give up. He finally realized that all your little jokes about wanted me weren't just jokes. I told him that if he really wants to be with you, I'd clear the air with you and maybe you'd see reason." He shrugged. "I never thought you'd run away just because he flirted with you."

"I didn't run away."

"Logan said you ran out so fast, the breeze damn near knocked him out of his chair." James said as he stood up, walking the cereal bowl over to the sink before leaning against the counter right next to me. "So you ran. Not a big deal. But you've had time to think about what you want since then. I know you. If you weren't at least a little interested, you would've just blown him off instead of running with your tail between your legs." He said.

"I think you did it because you don't know how to handle seeing him that way. I get that. But you can't treat him like those other guys. He's someone you can have an actual, with-your-clothes-on feelings for. That takes some getting used to, but don't take too long. He's not going to wait forever for you to come around." He added.

"We're seriously talking about this? Logan's turned you into one of _those _guys." I said, watching as he smiled, not bothered by the assessment.

"You're blind when it comes to relationships."

"It's like a chick flick. Are you going to help me get ready for prom next?"

"Hey, you dress up however you want to." He said. "I get the feeling you and Logan are going to happen, no matter how much you sabotage it at first. He's pretty determined and you aren't smart enough to get away once he figures out you want him too."

"Nice. Sometimes I hate how blunt you are." I muttered.

"Whatever. That's one of the many things you love about me. Someone's gotta beat you over the head with the truth." He said before leaning over, using his arm to nudge me. "You know I'm great at matchmaking. I think that he could be really good for you. He really likes you, and deep down, I know you feel more than you're letting on. And no, it's probably not my place to push you on this, but I'm tired of seeing you unhappy. Logan could change that. All you have to do is say the word."

Before I could respond, Logan breezed into the room walking right up to me. With one corner of his mouth pulled up in a smile, he snatched one of the bars out of my hand and peeled open the wrapper before taking a bite and moaning slightly.

"God, I love chocolately stuff that's good for you." He said as he turned to lean against the counter, wedging me in-between him and James. "You guys look serious. What'd I miss?" He asked.

"Nothing." I said, ignoring James' sigh. "We're just getting ready to head to the park. Are you coming with us or waiting for Carlos?"

"I didn't realize it had to be one or the other." He said, frowning a little. "I'll wait for Carlos. We'll be right behind you."

"Right." I said before lifting the two remaining meal bars in my hand. "Thanks for these. I'll stop by the store after the game and get you another box."

Before Logan could say anything, and definitely before James could try and leave us together again, I headed for the living room to retrieve my gym bag.

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**Done! Sorry if this had any typos, I kinda typed it in a hurry! So yeah, we got some Kames closure as well as a pretty insightful Cargan and Kames talks! **

**Next chapter will be pretty interesting, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter as well as if you had any favorite parts! **

**I haven't started the next chapter yet, but I'm hoping to have it up this weekend!**

**Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	6. Chapter Six

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I'm back with the sixth chapter of this story! Not much to say this time, but I'd like to give a huge thank you to winterschild11 and for reviewing last chapter! I'd also like to thank everyone that's supported this story so far! I was really nervous about doing this so your support really means a lot!**

**I hope you all enjoy the new chapter and be sure to check out my Author's Note at the end for a little info on my upcoming stories!**

* * *

**Chapter Six**

Something about this picture was all wrong. It wasn't merely that I was sitting here, alone. The team had come to our favorite bar to celebrate our win and it had been my decision to bring everyone to the roof because I knew how much Logan liked to look at the stars, especially in the Spring when the sky held more stars than any other time of the year. It was just after sunset, the sky hadn't yet completely darkened, but the wind had picked up, sending a chill over me. And the cold definitely suited my conflicting mood.

Something was off because, no matter how much I wanted to stand next to Logan, making jokes and congratulating the team on their win, I kinda felt like an outsider. For the first time in I don't know how long, I felt alone. Surrounded by people, my friends, my team. There was this nagging feeling I couldn't quite put my finger on, something missing that tugged at me until I felt short of breath and claustrophobic, even in the rapidly cooling air.

I let out a sigh as I pulled myself away from the rowdy group to make my way down to the bar to watch Logan. He was laughing and smiling, in a good mood after another victory. One of the rare times he _really _came out of his shell. He could never know how beautiful he was in these moments in particular, and I just couldn't bring myself to say anything. What would I say?

'_I've always noticed you, but never thought I deserved someone like you?'_

That wasn't right. It was cheesy and over the top, and still somehow not enough to describe powerful whirlpool of emotions I felt when I was around him. They weren't quite as strong as what I felt for James, but they were damn near close.

James made it seem so simple, but it wasn't. This wasn't like hooking up with a hot guy I'd met on the dance floor, it was Logan. The sweet, smart, quiet guy who's been my friend for two years and managed to sneak out of the friend box into this no man's land where every word, every gesture was a promise that I wasn't sure I could keep.

Sure, I'd had relationships. But none of them were serious. None of them lasting longer than it took for the passion to burn out and for the two of us to realize we had nothing more between us than hot sex and no desire for commitment. Logan wouldn't tolerate being dropped after a few weeks, after I'd gotten my fill and moved on with someone else. Although, I wasn't sure I'd be able to walk away, not at the risk of losing our friendship. But I would have to. I wasn't cut out for relationships and, as flattering as Logan's attention was, I knew I would only hurt him.

"You know, you could go over there. In fact, you should tell him how much all of this help with the team means to you. He'd appreciate hearing it." James said, breaking me out of my thoughts in the process.

I turned towards the brunet, who was leaning against the bar facing away from everyone, and as always, had a knack for knowing exactly what I was thinking about. Or who.

"He's fine without me." I said before knocking back the rest of my drink and setting it on the bar. "Besides, he's got Carlos."

"Spoken like a true jealous suitor."

"I'm not a suitor."

"You're vying for his hand." He chuckled before signaling the bartender for another beer. "It's cute. I think he'd get a kick out of you on one knee, telling him how special he is to you. Or maybe you could stand outside his window in the rain and sing to him. I know you still have your guitar." He added.

"If I didn't like you so much I'd have to kick your ass." I muttered.

"I'm not into that kind of foreplay."

I turned to glare at James before turning back to the small part of the team that was down here. Carlos was just finishing up telling a group of onlookers about the end of the game.

"And then, just when I thought they had us, this one," Carlos grabbed Logan by the arm and pulled him against his side. "Steals the puck and passes it to James," He pointed towards James who was nursing his beer. "and that sealed it. We beat them by one point thanks to this beautiful bastard. Let's hear it for the best winger in the league!" Hooking an arm around his shoulder, Carlos pulled Logan in close and delivered a quick peck on the lips.

Cheers and whistles erupted from the crowd, the noise echoing throughout the bar. Laughing as he pulled away, Logan looked over at me. Our eyes met for a moment before I broke eye contact.

"You know he'd rather have you kiss him." James said.

"Yeah, it looks that way." I replied.

Carlos was so friendly, he couldn't keep his hands off Logan most days. Today was worse. He looked like he was finally ready to step things up between the two of them.

"Jay, you need to stop pushing me on this. It's not going to work."

Especially with Carlos in the picture, I wanted to add. I didn't need to compete with anyone over a guy.

"Aww, is he pouting because no one's talking about how our stellar coach inspired us to victory?" Logan asked with a smile as he walked over to us before slipping an arm over my shoulder and leaning onto me. I felt the heat of his body through his jacket and had to resist the urge to lean back onto him.

"Better." James said. "He's pissy about you getting up close and personal with our buddy over there."

Logan's responding grin made my heart thump hard in my chest. I wanted to throw a smartass remark at James' retreating back, but when Logan stood in front of me and licked his lips, I forgot what I was upset about. I forgot everything but the look in Logan's eyes that said I was in a hell of a lot of trouble if I thought I'd just be able to walk away without seeing where this could go.

"So, you wanna kiss me?" He asked.

My short laugh faltered as Logan leaned on the bar as he eyed me carefully.

"I don't think we should." I said quietly.

"Funny, I agree with you there. Because once we start, I won't want to stop. We may not be able to." He said, making my cheeks heat up.

He must have noticed too, because he started to laugh softly.

"You're so cute when you blush." He said before leaning closer, one hand over my wrist on the bar. "Come up to the roof and dance with me. There's plenty of room. Besides, everyone else is doing it." He said slightly suggestively.

Watch that little body of his gyrate to the rhythm of a song, shaking his hips in invitation? The idea had never seemed so much like foreplay and my body was definitely responding. I glanced around, suddenly feeling nervous.

"Come one. This place is cool. We're safe here."

"That's not really the point." I muttered. "You don't think the rest of the team would wonder?"

Logan chuckled under his breath and moved closer. Now he was practically standing between my legs. One glance down and he would know that this conversation was just a distraction so that I could calm myself down. Not that it was working.

"They know we're gay. And we live together. Actually enjoying ourselves in public wouldn't be much of a stretch. It's not like I'm sitting in your lap." He said while moving his thumb, stroking the inside of my wrist. "That could be arranged though."

"Okay, wow." I said with a nervous laugh. "How many drinks have you had?"

"Only two."

"You should eat something."

"Food's on the way. So, are you gonna dance with me or do I have to pick apart all your reasons for not doing it?" He asked, to which I immediately shook my head.

"I don't want you getting inside my head any more than you already have."

"It's not your head I'm trying to get into." He whispered as his hand dropped from the bar, sliding along my leg before going under my shorts, stopping just behind my knee. He moved over a little, hiding the motion from view of the rest of the bar. "But if you're nice I'll do something with your head."

I watched as he looked down at my lap, a smile forming on his face.

"Looks like you like that idea." He said with a grin. "I can get my food to go, you know."

Ah, hell. I never thought I'd be the one to pull away, but this was moving way too fast. Where was the quiet guy who blushed and stammered when I sat across from him. Yes, he was drunk, but Logan seemed almost like a different person, so unlike himself that I wondered if I'd misjudged him all this time. Had he always been this forward? Had I mistaken his quiet friendship for a shyness that wasn't there? Was James right? Had Logan been biding his time , waiting until he knew I wasn't pining for anyone else before unleashing the sext tease in front of me?

It was a lot to take in. But not now. Not with all these people around. Not while Logan was drunk, leaning close and slipping his hand higher and higher and I was having a hard time focusing on getting that very interested part of me to calm down long enough for me to get out of here without embarrassing myself.

"We should talk." I said while pushing his hand away from my thigh.

"Isn't that my line?" He asked, before leaning in even further. He glanced over his shoulder at James. He was sitting with a small group of our team. Lucy had arrived and was sitting on his lap. "I thought you two talked. Are you still not over him?" He asked as he turned back towards me.

"Of course I am. Turns out I wasn't as hung up on him as you thought."

"Of course." He said sarcastically, telling me that he didn't believe me for a minute. "Then what's the problem?"

Drunk or not, I definitely recognized The Voice. The 'I'm a therapist and I'm here to help' voice. Right. Because this was all about helping me. Logan had talked me out of my fixation with James and now he was, what? Trying to keep me from falling back into the familiar pattern of attaching myself to the one person who loved me, no matter how much I screwed up? A distraction would do that.

That's what pretty much all the other guys have been in my life anyway. A distraction from the person I really wanted. And this seductive, playful Logan was really close to becoming that kind of distraction, a temporary fix to my need for approval and uncomplicated attachment. I didn't want that for us. I had no idea how to explain that to him without hurting his feelings. But talking to him while he was fully sober would be a start.

"Nothing." I said after a few moments. "We should talk. Later. Tomorrow. But right now I'm going to go."

"I'll come with you." He grinned, reaching for me as I stood up.

"No. You stay and enjoy the party." I said before turning to the bartender. "Put everyone's drinks on my tab." I said watching as he nodded.

I turned back towards Logan with a sigh.

"I'll see you at home."

Before he a chance to reply, I quickly made my way out the bar. And in spite of being surrounding by tourist and locals looking to liven up their Saturday night, I still felt alone.

I zipped up my jacket against the cold night air, and started walking.

* * *

**Done! I have to admit, I really enjoyed writing flirty, seductive Logan! Probably because I've never really written a character like that.**

**I hope you all enjoyed the chapter! I'd love to hear your thoughts on it as well as if you had a favorite part or moment!**

**I've already started the next chapter so you can expect it sometime this week! And if there are any Kames fans, I'm starting another Kames story this week before my Jagan story that's coming up! ;)**

**Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	7. Chapter Seven

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I'm back, as promised, with a new chapter! Before we get started, I'd like to thank and respond to those that reviewed last chapter!**

**Winterschild11: Yeah, Logan is being a bit pushy, and I think that you'll see the result of his pushiness in a way this chapter :)  
**

**TheLoganTrain (Guest): Kendall is definitely over-thinking this, but he does kinda have a good reason to be a little hesitant since he's never really had a serious relationship. And I can tell you that you may or may not get your wish of a Kogan kiss this chapter ;)**

** mrs. hutcherlark: I wouldn't say he doesn't want to see it exactly. I think it's more like he's afraid to open himself up to that possibility.**

**DuckieLuver: Thank you so much for the compliment! And yeah, Kendall's being very stubborn. But he does have a reason.**

**Thank you all so much for reviewing! I can tell you all that Kendall does have a reason for acting the way he is right now, but it won't be revealed for a few more chapters. Let's just say… he has a revelation of sorts.**

**I hope you all enjoy the new chapter!**

**Warnings: Language and Light Sexual Content**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

I swayed back and forth in the kitchen, singing along to some random song on the radio so loud that I knew I would be in danger of a visit from the cops if my neighbor was anyone but Carlos. After Kendall left the bar, I had loosened up far more than usual with the team. I'd been ushered into a cab because I was too trashed to make the two mile walk back home. None of that mattered though. All that mattered was that Kendall had texted that he was on his way home and James had promised to give us the house for most of the night.

I turned around, jumping slight when I saw Kendall standing in the doorway. Still singing, I stumbled across the kitchen and landed in Kendall's arms, giggling as I attempted to stand back up. I watched as Kendall held one of my arms to keep my steady before reaching towards the radio on the counter to turn it off.

"I've never seen you this drunk." He said. "Are you all right?"

"I'm better than all right. I've finally got you alone. You don't have any more excuses to run from me." I said. Before he could protest, I grabbed his face on both sides and pulled him close.

Our eyes met, with his darting back and forth, seemingly searching mine for answers even as he leaned closer. We stopped inches apart, before I leaned up on my toes slightly to close the distance. The first touch was brief, uncertain. A touch just enough to tempt us into another. Then I closed the distance again, closing my eyes as I lost myself in the moment.

The kiss was sloppy and wet and I had the sudden urge to get even closer, although I wasn't sure that was even possible. Once the dizziness faded a little and my feet felt steady on the ground, everything changed. Kendall's lips moved over mine, steady and sure. His hands slid down to my waist before tightening his grip. The only sounds in the room were our heavy breathing and the little moan in the back of my throat as Kendall's tongue slipped into my mouth.

"Come upstairs." I whispered when we broke apart for air. My hands slid up Kendall's chest to his shoulders, my fingers laced together at the back of his neck. Blood pulsed, hot and heavy in my veins as my heart pounded in my chest. I'd honestly never felt more alive.

"I've been walking around with a hard on half the night because I couldn't stop thinking about you." I whispered before pulling him down for another kiss.

Kendall jumped, leaning away from me slightly as a throat cleared behind us. I frowned before turning around to face Carlos, who held up his jacket with a slight grin.

"Sorry, forgot this. Didn't realize you… never mind." He said before turning to leave.

"Thanks for the cock block." I called out after him.

"See you for your hangover tomorrow." He replying before letting himself out.

The door had just closed when I leaned back into Kendall, trying for another kiss. But he angled his head away and took a step back.

"What was he doing here?"

"Oh, he got me a cab. Said that he didn't trust me to make it home in one piece since I couldn't remember our address to tell the cab driver." I said before rolling my eyes slightly. "It was his fault anyway. He's the one that suggested we do Royal Flush shots."

"So you had a good time with him?" Kendall asked.

"Yeah, I guess. But I'll have an even better time with you." I said with a smile, trying to lean further into him, although I just ended up stumbling again.

"We shouldn't do this tonight. You're way too drunk."

"Stop it Ken. I want you. I wanted you when I was sober and I will again tomorrow. Why can't you just… ugh!" I groaned as I slid my hand down to the obvious bulge the blonde was sporting. "You want this. I want this. Why are you making this so complicated?"

"Can we talk tomorrow? I want to talk to you when you're sober." He said while pushing my hand away.

"And I want to fuck you when I'm drunk, so what are we going to do about that?"

"I'm going to bed. Alone." He added when I grinned at him. "We'll talk in the morning."

"No!" I snapped. "You're going to tell me what's going on right now! Why aren't you taking me to bed?"

"I'm not doing this with you right now. Back off."

"What?" I frowned, closing my eyes for a moment before taking a deep breath. It only took a handful of words to take most of the shine off of my drunken state. I didn't think it was possible after the way Kendall had responded the other day, let alone just minutes ago, but there it was. He was rejecting me. Even after I had done my best to make it clear what I wanted.

"I'm an idiot." I whispered as I opened my eyes again. "Or you're an idiot because I keep throwing myself at you and you're throwing it back in my face." I said, backing away a few steps. "Fine, that's just wonderful. I've got the message now. You don't want me.

We don't need to have 'a talk' in the morning. No matter what I do, no matter how obvious my feelings are, you'll come up with some excuse not to be with me." I said before crossing my arms over my chest, hoping that he would deny the accusation. Anything would be better than knowing I'd made a fool of myself over someone who didn't care one way or the other.

"I don't have an excuse." He said weakly. "I just don't think the two of us together makes sense."

"What part of I'm in love with you doesn't make sense?" I asked before backing away another step. I hadn't meant to blurt that out, but I could hardly blame the alcohol. Kendall was driving me crazy, and if he was going to bed alone , it had better be for a damn good reason.

"Fine." I said flatly after a couple minutes of silence. "I get it. You don't want me. I'm not like any of the other guys you've been with. I thought that was because you weren't looking for anything serious because you were holding out for James, but it just means I'm not your type. Fine." I said the word again although the situation was anything but. It was a poor substitute for the feeling I wanted to describe. Unfair. Heart-breaking. Devastating. I took another step back, stumbling as I hit the counter.

"Loges…" He said as he reached a hand towards me.

"Don't touch me." I said, moving out of the way. "I won't bother you anymore." I added bitterly, feeling sick to my stomach.

I held back the tears that were forming in my eyes as I left the kitchen, heading straight for my room before locking the door behind me.

* * *

**Done! This was the shortest chapter of the story, but I feel that it was also probably the most emotional.**

**I have to admit that it's still a little weird writing Kogan since Kames is my favorite, but I'm really enjoying it! I also think I might end up raising the rating of this story.**

**So, although I'm sure I know what your thoughts and responses will be, I'd really love to hear your thoughts on this chapter, as well as if you had a favorite part of moment. I'd also like to hear how you all are liking this story so far and if you would like to see more Kogan stories from me.**

**We're a little over the halfway point of this story. I've already started the next chapter, but I'm not sure when it'll be posted. Although, reviews help motivate me to update faster ;)**

**Until next time!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	8. Chapter Eight

A/N: Hello again everyone! Time for an early update since I finished the chapter sooner than I expected! Before we get started, I'd like to thank and respond to those that reviewed last chapter!

winterschild11: Yeah, I don't think Kendall would've gotten through to him if he had tried talking to him while he was drunk.

mrs. hutcherlark: Rejection really does suck. And add a hangover on to that... :( The Kendall situation is kinda complicated. You'll get a little insight on it this chapter, but it'll be explained a little more soon.

TheLoganTrain (Guest): Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far! And I'm really considering making more Logan stories.

Thank you all so much for taking the time to review! :) I hope you all enjoy the new chapter!.

* * *

Chapter Eight

"What did he say?" Carlos asked softly.

"I'm an idiot." I mumbled. "A stupid, drunk idiot."

"He didn't say that."

I frowned and took a sip of my coffee, wincing slightly. Even hot coffee made my head hurt, but I kept at it since drowning myself in caffeine made the violent noise in my head a little more tolerable.

After emptying the remains of my mostly liquid dinner into the toilet bowl last night, I had paced my bedroom. The I'd forced myself to lay down, mostly to keep myself from banging on Kendall's door and screaming until my heart stopped breaking.

Then I had returned to the bathroom where I woke up six hours later, dried tears on my cheeks and a headache that felt like I'd been tossed around in the dryer for a couple of hours. A quick text to Carlos and then I was moping at his dining room table, trying to figure out how I'd gone from sexy back to pathetic with zero stops in between.

"No, he said we're not right for each other." I said after a long moment. "I had been trying to hump him like a rabbit on steroids and all he wanted was to talk to me sober so that he could let me down easy." I continued, trying to smile at the irony of Kendall wanting to talk things out, especially since he was more a man of action. But the strain on my muscles only made my headache worse.

"I brought this on myself. I should've taken the hint after he ran away the other day. I'm not what he wants." I said, taking another sip of coffee.

"Then he's an idiot." He said. "You're great, and if can't see how lucky he'd be to have you, then he doesn't deserve you."

"You know what's really sad?" I asked after a minute of silence. "I still want him to come around. I keep thinking that if he just gives me a shot, I can make him fall in love with me." I said, my eyes widening slightly when I realized what I had just said.

'_I guess this is how Kendall felt about James.'_ I thought to myself.

"Was I really so delusional that I imagined he was responding to me?" I asked rhetorically, not expecting for Carlos to answer.

"James doesn't seem to think so."

"What does James know? I have a masters in clinical psychology and I don't know what went wrong." I said. "The only thing I can think of, the only thing that makes sense is that he was just… testing the waters at first. You know, that chess thing was probably funny to him. I caught him off guard. Then he avoided me for most of the week. Then yesterday, he ran out of the kitchen before the game. He ran out of the bar. I don't need him to run away from me again to get the point."

"I'm sorry. I know how much you wanted this." He said, giving me a sympathetic look.

"I'm sorry too." I muttered. "I made a fool of myself and I can't take any of it back. I should move out. They had originally brought me in to help them with the bills, but I'm sure they have enough money that it probably wouldn't hurt them to handle everything themselves until they can find another roommate."

"You don't have to move out."

"No, I should quit the team too." I said, shaking my head in the process. "What else can I do? I put him in this position, and if the only way he'll feel comfortable in his own home is if I'm not there, then there aren't any other choices."

"There's always a choice." He said gently. "Think about it for a day, a week. You haven't even talked to him yet. Moving out is an overreaction."

"I don't need to think about it. I need to march over there and start packing. I can have most of my stuff gone before he wakes up."

"And go where? You're just going to check into a hotel unannounced on a Sunday?"

"I'll move in with you. The only difference is I'll cook half your meals here instead of next door." I said with a grin, doing my best to ignore my headache.

"And I'll get to hear you whine about Kendall all the time instead of once every few days or so." He muttered.

"That's not fair."

"The whining or that you're running away instead of actually talking to him?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm not-"

"You're doing the same thing he's doing." He said, cutting me off in the process. "Except you should know better. Really, you both should be more mature than this, but until you find out what's going on with Kendall, I don't think you should make any rash decisions."

"This isn't rash. This is self-preservation."

"Uh-huh. Finish your coffee and go home. You need to have a talk." He said with an air of finality in his voice.

* * *

"So what'd you do?"

"What makes you think I did something?" I asked, looking up from the sports section of the newspaper.

The teams win was on the front page. The article was topped by a picture of Logan taking the winning shot, a bright smile on his face as he knew that he was scoring us another victory. I had been staring at the picture for a few minutes now, trying to merge the smiling face in print with the image of his disappointed expression from last night. No, he hadn't merely been disappointed. He'd been hurt and it had taken everything I had not to go to him last night, to soothe his pain with the very thing he had been begging for, but I knew that I was doing the right thing by staying away.

That kiss, as cheesy as it sounded… that kiss was the most magical and amazing kiss that I had ever had. But I knew that if I had went any further, I would've felt like I was taking advantage of his feelings when I wasn't one hundred percent that I could return them. It would be alright if Logan hated me for a little while for pushing him away, as long as I didn't end up hating myself for not having the strength to do it.

I was broken out of my thoughts as James' eyebrows shot up as he responded.

"You're kidding, right? Logan was practically molesting you at the bar last night and he made me promise to come home late so you'd have the house to yourselves. When I got here, he was in the bathroom crying."

"He didn't cry." I frowned, knowing that it was probably true.

"That's what it sounded like. He sure as hell wasn't snuggled up with you like he'd planned." He said a bit harshly. "I tried to find out what was wrong, but he wouldn't let me in. He could've been crying in his sleep for all I know."

I looked down at the paper in my hands. James wasn't supposed to give me that judgemental 'I'll hurt you if you hurt him' look. That was the look he usually reserved for people who hurt _me_. If Logan misunderstood what I'd been trying to say… well, he hadn't misunderstood. He just hadn't been in the right frame of mind to hear it. We would have to talk later and then he would understand. Not that it would make him feel better, but at least… well shit.

I didn't know what I expected to come out of our talk, only that I knew that I had to get Logan to understand why we both had to walk away.

"The night didn't go the way I'd planned it either." I muttered.

"What did you want exactly? Logan has it bad for you and I thought you weren't stupid enough to turn him away. I guess I was wrong."

"Don't give me that." I said. "You can't just decide who you think I should be with and then snap your fingers to make it happen. I have to be the one to decide if there's something there."

"And the way to do that is to push him away at every opportunity?"

"No. I told him I want to talk to him when he's sober, and he forced the issue."

"Oh, you're right. It's such a hardship when someone you're attracted to is trying to get you into bed." He said sarcastically.

"It's not that simple! Logan is my friend. I'm not just going to jump into bed with him because you think we'd make a good couple. I wanted to talk. That's all. He wanted to have sex and I didn't think it would be right if he wouldn't even remember it the next day."

"At least one of us was being rational last night."

I turned to see Logan standing in the doorway, one hand on the doorknob as he leaned on the frame. He was squinting, his face turned away from the bright sunlight streaming from outside. I imagined he had one hell of a headache given the way he'd been stumbling around the night before.

"I'm going to leave you guys alone." James said.

"No, finish your talk." Logan said as he walked further into the room and closed the backdoor. "My stomach feels like someone put it in a blender and my head isn't much better. I'm gonna try and see if I can sleep for another couple of hours and then we'll talk, okay?" He asked me, to which I nodded.

"I'll see you then." I said, watching as he went off to his room.

"I'm sorry." James said gently once Logan was out of earshot. "I know this kind of stuff isn't easy for you and I shouldn't push."

"No, you shouldn't." I muttered.

"I just worry about you." He said. "I think… I think he really cares about you, as much as I do. It's been a long time since you've let anyone new get close and I worry you'll never find someone. But it's none of my business if you don't want to date Logan. I won't bother you about it anymore. Even if I think the way you look at him is kind of sappy and cute."

I nodded my head, eyes narrowing slightly as the last part of his comment registered.

"I do not make eyes at him."

"Liar. Too bad I didn't have my phone out a minute ago." He said, sitting down next to me as he grabbed the newspaper out of my hands. "Since we're not going to talk about you and Loges building a love nest, let's talk hockey."

It was a clumsy tactic, but I let the brunet change the subject. Somehow, I had to distract myself from what I had to do later.

* * *

**Done! I want to start by apologizing for any mistakes there might be in this chapter. I wrote the last part of this on my tablet.**

**I don't have too much to say regarding this chapter, but I hope I did a good job on it. I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. I'd also love to hear any guesses you may have as to why Kendall is acting the way he is. I gave a little hint in this chapter :)**

**Next chapter will have the talk between Kendall and Logan. I'm hoping to have it up sometime early next week with another chapter next weekend. **

**I hope you all have an awesome weekend as well as a Happy Easter! :)**

**-EpicallyObsessed**


	9. Chapter Nine

**A/N: Hello again everyone. I had planned to update this earlier in the week a close friend of mine is kinda going through a lot right now so I had to be there for him. I hope you all understand.**

**Before we get started I'd like to thank and respond to those that reviewed last chapter:**

**mrs. Hutcherlark: Logie definitely has a chance! Kendall just needs to work through some things and realize that he really does love Logan. Which you'll see start to happen even more in this chapter as well as the next one**

**winterschild11: I feel the same way. Besides, I just couldn't see Kendall as the type of guy to just jump into bed with one of his friends, _especially _while they're drunk. Not in this story at least.**

**loovingthis: Lol, sorry about being a tease! But I can tell you that the outcome of all this will be good!**

**Again, thank you all so much for reviewing last chapter. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and that it was worth the wait!**

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

The house was quiet. James had gone to run some errands, which meant he was going to hang out at Lucy's until he thought that Logan and I had exhausted ourselves making up for lost time.

I was sitting in the living room playing a game on my phone when Logan came down, looking only slightly better than he did earlier. His eyes weren't bloodshot anymore, but he was still a little pale and his hair was sticking up all over his head in little tufts. He smiled and squinted at me as he entered the room, wincing as if both gestures hurt.

"Remind me not to drink anything 'Los puts in front of me ever again." He said, glancing around the living room. He sat in front of the chess board before motioning me over.

"Carlos has always been a bad influence on you." I said somewhat jokingly as I took my seat.

I couldn't remember my strategy from the last time we'd played. Not that it mattered. My mind was too far away from the game to have any sort of focus.

"Nah, he actually talks me out of doing some pretty cool things. I think he's afraid I'll turn out cooler than him." He grinned as he moved one of his pawns.

"Right." I said as I made my move. "So how's training going? Are you allowed to see patients alone yet?" I asked casually.

"No, not yet." He said, moving one of his knights. "I won't be able to see patients by myself until I finally get my doctorate in December."

"Then you'll be able to prescribe drugs right?"

I watched as he suddenly reached across the table until his hand connected with my wrist. He turned my arm over and began tracing his fingers over the small ribboning of veins just beneath my skin. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my now rapidly beating heart.

Every time he touched me, I began questioning every idea I had about the two of us. Was it a mistake to push him away? Would I regret not responding to the promise behind those brown eyes and the thump my heart gave when I imagined letting him have his way?

I cleared my suddenly dry throat. Every person that I'd been with before knew what they were getting into. But with Logan, it hardly felt like an even playing field. For all my experience in keeping things casual, I had a feeling that the last thing I'd feel was indifference if I let my guard down and let him get me into bed.

"Is this what you wanted to talk about?" Logan asked, flashing a small smile before licking his lips. Because I can find much better things to discuss. Or we can skip talking all together."

"There's nothing wrong with small talk." I muttered.

"No, but you're stalling." He countered. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"No? Then why aren't we naked?" He asked as he took hold of my hand. "I'll admit, all this anticipation is making me hot." He said. "But enough is enough. I'm sorry that I was acting like a crazy person last night, but as you can see I'm sober and I still want this. I'm afraid the seam on my jeans can't take much more pressure. So tell me what your issues are and then we can work through them and have happy naked time."

"Logan, it's not that simple." I sighed, watching as he moved his bishop across the board.

"Don't tell me you want to have a long relationship before we have sex. That's romantic and pretty damn sweet, but you never struck me as the type to delay gratification. So either you've got an STD and you're waiting for the full run of antibiotics to finish before you play again or you don't want to do this with me." He said somewhat jokingly before pausing. "I was really hoping I was so drunk that I'd misinterpreted what you'd said."

"You didn't." I said softly, doing my best ignore the pang in my chest. "I don't think we're right for each other."

"I don't understand… I saw something. The way you looked at me wasn't my imagination. You're not… you don't have feelings for anyone else. Are you just not attracted to me?" He asked, continuing before I had a chance to respond. "But that doesn't make sense either, unless you want me to believe the way you responded to me was purely a biological reaction to someone being all over you." He said before suddenly snatching his hand away from my wrist, his eyes widening slightly.

"Oh God… I've been so stupid. I should've known you wouldn't want someone like me. You must've been laughing your ass off when I was groping you last night."

I wasn't laughing at you." I said, reaching across the table for him. "Loges-"

"Stop. Whose turn is it?" He asked as he pulled his hand out of reach.

I glanced down at the chess pieces, letting out a sigh.

"It's done. The game is over. You won."

"Did I?" He laughed, the low, brief sound lacking humor.

Before I could respond, Logan stood from the table. His last words were like a blow to my chest, and I sat there, numb, watching as Logan avoided looking at me as he disappeared around the corner in a flash. Gone. No longer hoping for something to happen between us. Exactly what I wanted. At least, that's what I _thought _I wanted.

He was halfway up the stairs before I shot out of my chair before running up to stop him. I quickly grabbed his arm, holding on tight.

"Loges, just… wait a second." I pleaded.

It would be one thing if he was pissed off. He'd get over that. He'd talk it out with someone and rationalize his feelings and be back to his normal, quiet self. Our friendship would return to normal and he would forget that he wanted me to see a part of him very few people saw.

But some part of me, some desperate part that was screaming at me to stop this before it went too far made me reach out, grab his hand and move up the stairs until we were eye to eye. The light in the hall was dim, but I could see the moisture shining in Logan's dark, chocolate brown eyes. I saw the flicker of pain before he looked away again, up the stairs to his escape.

"Please don't be mad at me." I whispered. _I don't want to hurt you. I'm sparing you from caring about me any more than you already do. _

"Don't what? Are you listening to yourself?" He asked as he shook my hand off.

'_I'm in love with you_.' I heard his words clearly from last night as clearly as if he had said them again. But this time, I wasn't hearing them through a slightly drunken haze, I was seeing the pain in his eyes, fresh and sobering, making me fully aware of what I was throwing away.

"Please, just… come back downstairs. I can explain." I said. _I can make you see that what I feel won't be enough for you._

"You don't have to explain. I need to be alone." He said after a few moments. "I think you do too." He added before walking away, leaving me alone on the stairs, wondering if I had just made the biggest mistake of my life.

* * *

**Done! So… you know how I said that I felt chapter before last was probably the most emotional chapter? Well I'm pretty sure this chapter just topped it.**

**Again, I want to apologize for the late update, but I hope this chapter was worth the wait! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter!**

**P.S. If there are any Kames fans reading this, my new Kames story will be up this weekend for sure so be on the lookout for it!**

**Oh, and remember when I said that Kendall would have a revelation of sorts? Well that'll happen next chapter, thanks to an unlikely source. Any guesses as to who it'll be? Here's a hint, he hasn't been mentioned in this story yet! **

**Next chapter should be up either this weekend or early next week so until then!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	10. Chapter Ten

**A/N: Hello again everyone! I'm back with another update! Before we get started, I'd like to thank mrs. hutcherlark, loovingthis, and winterschild11 for reviewing last chapter!**

**I know that you all were a little frustrated with the ending of the last chapter, but I'm sure that by the end of this one, you'll be happy ;)**

**I hope you all enjoy! **

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Chapter Ten

"What'll it be hon?" The tall blonde bartender asked as she leaned over the bar and tapped her fingers restlessly on the countertop.

I let out a sigh as I looked around. There looked to be about half a dozen people waiting for service, which was pretty suprising since it was a weekday. I guess the bingo games and free pool drew in big crowds.

"Sweetie, you getting something?" The bartender asked again, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Um, no. Is Carlos around?" I asked, knowing that he was usually here around this time. I watched as she shook her head, giving me a sad smile.

"I don't know how he does it. You're the third one to ask about him tonight. He quit. Found another job." She explained, making me slump my shoulders in disappointment. "You sure you don't want anything?" She asked.

I shook my head at her question, watching as she moved on to the next customer.

I stepped away from the bar and surveyed the room. If Carlos wasn't answering his door and he wasn't here… where the hell would he be on a Monday night? More importantly, would Logan be with him?

I had spent all day yesterday waiting outside Logan's room for him to come out, and when he finally came out, silent and pale, he ignored me talking to him, opting to head next door to take refuge with Carlos. All my calls were sent to voicemail. My texts were unanswered and I suspected that they were also unopened. I wasn't even sure if he had come home last night. Coming home after work to find the house empty, my last resort had been to try and get in contact with Carlos to get Logan a message, but he wasn't responding either.

This entire situation was screwed up and I didn't know where to begin trying to fix it. If I told Logan the full on truth, that he wouldn't want me once he knew me better, once he realized just how shallow and flaky I could be, I wasn't sure it would make the situation better. It might be even worse, because then Logan would know for sure that I really did care about him and that I was holding out for another reason. A reason that, while important to me, Logan would just say it was an excuse.

I didn't need a therapist to tell me that walking away without trying was a cop out. I also didn't need anyone to tell me that screwing up my relationship with Logan would narrow my circle of very close friends down to one, and James wasn't exactly on my side with this one. I had to get Logan to understand, there were no other options. I just hoped that I hadn't already lost him.

"Ken! What's up man?!" A voice that I knew all too well asked as a pair of muscular arms slung around my neck and pulled my into a loose hug. When I didn't hug him back, Jett pulled back to look into my eyes. "You okay?" He asked, his excitement quickly turning to worry.

"No, I'm just tired." I responded. "I think I'm just going to go home."

"What? No. You just got here right?" He asked before motioning around the room. "Tourists are filling the place up, so there's lots of action to be had." He said, wiggling his eyebrows for emphasis. "Let me buy you a drink."

"No, I'm driving." I said before glancing around the room.

It was getting full. The lights had been dimmed, making it difficult to make out any one face among the growing crowd.

"I was just looking for Carlos. You don't know where he is do you?" I asked, watching as he shook his head.

"No, he quit! Can you believe it?!" He pouted. "Finally get a hot guy in here who isn't taken and he leaves to bake cookies. Ugh. I'm going to have to start expanding my hunting grounds if all the god ones are going to bakeries and restaurants." He said with a thoughtful expression on his face before knocking back the rest of his drink.

He set the empty cup down on a nearby table before staring at me, one eyebrow raised as he waited for me to say something.

"Can we talk outside? I can barely hear myself in here." I asked, to which he nodded his head. The two of us made our way outside, away from the noisy club.

"What's going on?" He asked, laying a hand on my forearm and giving a comforting squeeze.

"There's just been some drama. I don't know what to do." I said before turning to Jett, studying him for a moment. A skin tight white t-shirt and black skinny jeans showed off his toned body perfectly. Expertly styled blonde hair and a full mouth that I had more than fond memories of.

"Hey, when we were messing around, you were okay with what was going on right?" I asked hesitantly. "I didn't make you think I felt something more for you did I?"

"No, of course not. I knew what our relationship was. We all know if we want anything from you we have to play by your rules."

"I have rules?" I asked, watching as he nodded.

"Of course you do. Always use protection. No sleeping over. No messing with your Jamie. No messing with your Logie."

"I don't have a rule about Logan." I objected, just getting an incredulous chuckle out of the other blonde.

"You may not have said it in so many words, but the look you gave Dak when he smiled at Logan that night could've burned a hole in the wall. We all took the hint. You were marking your territory there."

"I don't even remember that. Besides, Logan hardly ever comes here. When did they meet?" I asked.

"About a year ago." He said. "After our playoff game. Remember? We went back to your place because Dak didn't want to go home drunk." He added, everything starting to make sense.

"What's wrong Ken? You look like someone just kicked your puppy." He asked.

"I… I didn't even think… Logan has a crush on me. Thinks he's in love with me." I said, not missing the way he grinned before slapping me on my arm.

"About time he got you back! So when's the wedding?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, looking at him in confusion.

His smile wavered slightly as he moved closer, grabbing my shoulders and looking into my eyes.

"Don't tell me this is news to you." He said before rolling his eyes. "Seriously, you don't drop hits like the rest of us, so I don't know what your excuse is. The way you look at Logan sometimes, well… frankly, I wish you'd looked at me like that when we were sleeping together."

"I didn't mean to hurt you." I said, feeling guilty knowing that he felt that way.

"You didn't. I swear. We had fun, and I knew that's all it was. Just some fun." He said as he shrugged his shoulders. "I figured since James was never going there, Logan would be your guy when you finally get tired of cruising."

"Speaking of which, aren't you supposed to be chasing Dustin down?" I asked.

"Nope. That loving relationship lasted for about a week. Last I heard, he and Carlos were making out in the bathroom at some club." He said, making my eyes widen in shock.

"When was that?"

"A few days ago I think. Right before Carlos quit."

Shit. So Carlos wasn't interested in Logan at all. And I had what, been protecting Logan from my 'friends' for about a year? I scrubbed at my face with one hand. This was crazy. I'd probably warned off Dak because everyone knew he couldn't keep someone in his life longer than it took to get their clothes back on. I knew that Logan wouldn't go for that. He needed more than just a quick hookup with someone who doesn't care about him.

What did I need? Assurance? Some guarantee that if I ended up doing to Logan what I did with everyone else, I wouldn't end up ruining our friendship. I depended on Logan to be a stable influence, although I doubt that he knows it. When I needed to escape the merry-go-round of what passed for relationships with some of my friends, I knew that I could come home to Logan and get my head straight. He was a rock, dependable, never shaken. Not until I hurt him by pushing him away.

I had to fix this…

"So, since Logan had finally come around and, if the look on your face says anything, you're just figuring out how you feel about him, why are you looking for Carlos?" Jett asked.

"Yesterday, I told Logan that it wouldn't work between us and now he's not talking to me. Carlos is his best friend."

Best friends always stuck close when something like this went wrong, either smoothing over the situation or warning the other guy off until things cooled down. In this case, Carlos was joining Logan in ignoring me. I had no idea what the silent treatment meant in the grand scheme of things.

"Ken, _you're _his best friend. You and James. Carlos is just his friend. The person he goes to when you're not around."

"Okay, how the hell does everyone know so much about me and Logan?" I asked with a frown, wondering if I was really _that _oblivious.

"I don't know. But you know, Carlos is pretty popular. I can't be the only person who wondering if there was something between him and Logan. Plus, after seeing the way you gave Dustin the evil eye the other day when he looked at Logan, I decided to ask him. He said Logan's just a friend to him and that he had his eye on someone else. Now we know who he had his eye on." Jett explained.

"And I was too stupid to figure it out on my own." I muttered.

"You're not stupid. Just blind, I guess."

"Same difference."

"No, it's not." He said, reaching out to put his hand on my arm, just below my shoulder. "You're cared about Logan for a long time. Being in love with him probably just snuck up on you. Hit you upside the head in the dark."

"And now I'm alone in the dark." I whispered mostly to myself.

"Ooh, how very romance novel of you." He said, giving me a small smile. ""You're not alone. He's ticked because he can tell how you feel about him, like pretty much every person who's been in a room with the two of you." He said, giving me arm a reassuring squeeze. "He'll calm down and then you can tell him you were a blind moron to throw his love away and you'll do anything to make it up to him so he knows that he's the only guy you'll ever love."

"That's a bit much." I said, with Jett joining in on my laugh. "What movie did you steal that from?"

"Who knows. I'm just saying, you better say something worth coming out of a mood for or you'll never get your Logie back." He said before pulling his hand away. "He's lucky, you know?"

"Logan?" I asked, watching as he nodded.

"If I had someone who looked at me the way you look at him, I'd give up anything in my life to keep him. When someone like you falls, you fall hard. And with your best friend, I don't think anything will be able to shake that." He said, his words completely registering with me.

I caught him off guard when I pulled him into a hug, which he returned after a few seconds.

"Thanks Jett." I said softly, knowing that he helped me more than he probably knew.

"Anytime. Now go get your guy."

* * *

**Done! Who would have thought that Jett would be the one to get Kendall to come to his senses?**

**A little fun fact, I was originally going to write Jett as a villain of sorts, with him trying to get with Kendall. But I like to change it up because I honestly feel like Jett could either be a great guy, or a great villain. So I chose to make him a good guy in this story. I don't know why, I just like writing him like that :)**

**Anyways, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter! **

**I know that you all are excited for Kogan to finally become official so I'll try my best to update with the next few days!**

**Until then!**

**-Epically Obsessed**


	11. Chapter Eleven

**A/N: Hello again everyone! As promised, I'm back with a new chapter! Before we get started, I'd like to give a huge thank you to loganschmidt, mrs. hutcherlark, TheLoganTrain (Guest), and winterschild11 for reviewing last chapter! **

**I'm glad that you all enjoyed last chapter! And I know that you all are excited for Kogan, but sadly it won't happen this chapter. This chapter is short, but it is kind of a lead in to next chapter, which will sadly be the last chapter.**

**I hope you all enjoy!**

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**Chapter 11**

"You're so full of it."

I looked up from my phone, inwardly wincing at the scowl that Carlos was now giving me.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, although I had a pretty good idea what this was about.

I watched as he dropped his gym bag before motioning to my phone.

"You don't want to talk to him, don't care what he has to say, but you don't stop checking your messages. That's what, the tenth time today?" He asked.

'_Sixth, actually.'_ I thought to myself. But it wasn't my fault that Kendall kept calling and texting. He should've gotten the message by now. There was nothing left for the two of us to talk about. He didn't want me, in spite of kissing me like he would die if he didn't, and I didn't want to hear any further explanation. Not even the 'full, honest reality' I hadn't seen before that Kendall had promised to reveal in his most recent text.

I knew it was all just a smokescreen to stop me from being angry, but it wasn't necessary. I wasn't angry, I had never been angry, even when I'd been drunk. I was confused and hurt and questioning why I'd never seen that Kendall couldn't return my feelings.

It had taken a long time for me to learn how to read people, and it was jarring to realize my instincts were wrong when it came to Kendall. I supposed it was because I had feelings for him, but there was something else there. Something was wrong with the situation and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out what. I just knew that I wasn't in the mood to sit down with Kendall for a heart to heart.

"It doesn't matter how many times I check my messages." I responded, tossing my phone into my bag before shoving it next to Carlos' bag with my foot. "Nothing's changing."

"But he clearly wants to talk to you. He's even texting me, and you know talks to me outside of practice unless he has to." He said. "I'm not saying that you have to do anything-"

"Like your advice from before?" I asked, cutting him off in the process and watching as he nodded his head.

"Yeah, but you should at least talk to him one last time. I still think that this is a rash decision."

"Could be. But it's been a few days and I still haven't changed my mine." I said.

"You haven't let Kendall give you a reason to." He responded. "You said it yourself, it takes time for people to get used to big changes. He had no idea how you felt about him until last week."

"And he still said no." I whispered, closing my eyes as Carlos pulled me into a tight hug. The light rubbing on my back felt good, but I couldn't let myself relax into the touch. I was too tense because I knew that I would be seeing Kendall soon and I hadn't yet figured out what I was going to say to him.

"He hasn't stopped calling you since. How will you know if he's had a change of heart if you don't talk to him?" He asked, making me mean back to look at him.

"I don't want him to tell me he has feelings for me just because he knows that I'm avoiding him."

"No, but you wanted him to stop running away and he's trying to do that, only thing is that you won't let him." He said, reaching up to ruffle my hair. "You'll never know what could happen if you don't give him a chance."

'_I'll never forgive myself if I don't at least listen to what he has to say.' _I thought to myself, letting Carlos hold me again.

It wasn't fair that Kendall had this kind of hold over me and that I couldn't turn it off when I needed to do something to restore my peace of mind.

"He's here. You wanna give it a shot now?" Carlos asked, giving me one last squeeze before releasing me.

I looked over, immediately noticing Kendall and James. I couldn't tell for sure from where I stood, but Kendall looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep last night. His hair was messy, well… messier than usual. He was ignoring the team members who approached him as he eyed me and Carlos from a distance. I broke eye contact first.

"I'll go by the house after practice. I need to get more of my clothes anyway." I said softly.

Carlos said nothing about that last part, but I heard him loud and clear. I could stay with him as long as I wanted, well, as long as it took for me and Kendall to work through everything, the point was that I had to go back home eventually. The problem was, I didn't even know if it would ever feel like home again…

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**Done! Told you this chapter was pretty short. I mostly wanted to let you all see just where Logan's head is currently at. Like I said, sadly the next chapter will be the last. I've had so much fun writing this story! I was pretty nervous since this was my first Kogan story, but I think that it turned out pretty good! **

**I already have a few ideas for more Kogan stories, so you can definitely expect more in the future ;)**

**Anyways, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter!**

**I'm hoping to have the next and final chapter up sometime this weekend so be on the lookout for that. Until then!**

**-Epically Obsessed **


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